The Scrabbled: Making Fun of Each Other since '99

No doubt, there are some mysteries best left mysterious as any attempt at an explanation would be unsatisfactory. But LOST was unique in having dozens upon dozens of mysteries that were easily explained and that anyone watching could have rightly expected and explanation for. So let’s make a list of them.

I loved the finale and I had some initial things on my mind to type up.

Anybody see that stained-glass window in the “church”?

What DID they die for?

Provided answer: The trials that have left a cascading series of corpses on the Island catalyzed the candidates into a force to be reckoned with. Only after properly seasoning these lonely souls were they prepared to defend the Light from the Man in Black.

Actual answer: With 714 commercial act breaks needing searingly dramatic cliffhangers over the past six years, you gotta ice some mofos.

Even if nothing else is worked out in a satisfying manner, I’ll always love this show for opening Ben Linus’ mind to the intellectually dizzying truth of an infinitely vast, bifurcated universe by having him get punched repeatedly in the face for the nine thousandth time.

When the episode ended, my first thought was “oh, that was sort of a nice little three-man stage play.” And then I remember that it was supposed to be a LOST episode. Not just any LOST episode, either. This was to be the episode that explains the island! And what did we get? “Oh, yeah, um, well God lives in a cave there. Sort of. And some lady was protecting it and then some kids were born and the lady killed their mom for some reason. Later, the one brother decided he wanted to leave, so he started looking for a boat or watercraft of some sort the God Cave. But then the lady knocked him out and his brother fed him to the God Cave and then a smoke monster came out. TA DA!”

Seriously, Lost? What the fuck? Are you going to readdress any of this nonsense or is this all we’re getting?

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY-HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

The castaways are scheming to float away on a boat. Jack and Sawyer are at loggerheads. Sayid stumbles over a tripwire and gets taken hostage. The remaining Others leadership is hiding in the Dharma barracks. Desmond is trapped in an underground shaft that seems to fascinate Locke.

Very Season One of them. Looks like destiny’s just one big wheel, one that always rolls around to the same place again at the end.

No new episode this week, so I’m posting what I never got around to posting last week.

It’s true, we all adore the big lug and think he deserves a grace note where he finally gets a nice date with the pretty girl… even if it was the other Hugo who earned it.

WOW! What an incredible episode. It fills me with hope for the rest of the season and the direction they could take it from here. If the writer’s mean to show that this alternate reality is not just the paths the characters might have taken without the island but is, instead, some sort of manipulation, rife with all sort of… incorrectness… well then wow. I am seriously hopeful for the remaining episodes. And if those manipulations are, in some way, being observed or even planned by Eloise… well then fuck! FUCK!

Also, I totally called Desmond drinking Widmore’s scotch.

The Magical and Heartracing V Countdown Hour Timer Extravaganza Celebration. 60 minutes of thrilling numbers ticking away towards zero on the right side of your screen!

Also, some stuff happened about an island, I guess.

All of God’s children have daddy issues.

It has officially gotten so dumb that I don’t even care about the explanations anymore because the chances they will be satisfactory are slim to none. Despite following a relatively good episode last week, this episode was painful to watch. Of every character on the show, Ben, Jacob, and Evil Locke are the only people we’re left to be at all curious about; the only ones whose motives and goals are still unclear. At this point, it’s like watching a silly chess game where every piece but two are pawns and the players keep making up the rules as they go along.

I know it’s become almost passe for me to hate on this show every week, but come on. It’s just getting ridiculous. At this point, I’m genuinely watching just to get it over with.

a.k.a. Man plans, God laughs

What good is faith if you can’t even cross your front lawn with dignity?

I just finally watched the new episode today. Here are the things I noticed. Spoilers below…

I figured I’d split this up. Mainly because I wanted everyone to know that I’d be up to my old postings again. What is with that guitar case?!

Spoilers below:

What’s with the episode title? Obviously it’s a play with the Los Angeles Airport abbreviation. But there is a space between the ‘A’ and ‘X’.

‘LA’ for the spanish feminine singular article ‘the’?
‘X’ for roman numeral ‘ten’?
The Ten? Who are the Ten? Am I even right?!

That white screen was a second to long if you ask me. Teasing us already!

Spoilers below:

So remember that farm I was staying/working at a few months ago? Well just before I left the farmer’s idiot wife lost their dog “Duke” after driving off like a space cadet not realizing Duke was wandering the street behind her.

Television!

Some recap, theory, and discussion below…

Tonight’s the anticipated finale of Lost’s 5th season. Since it’s an exciting night for fans, I figured I’d kick off our speculation on what we all expect to see tonight (since it’s fun to be proved wrong).

Also, since the actual episode post will probably give itself over to interpretation of what we just watched, I’m curious what everyone’s favorite (and least favorite) moments of the season were.

And I’m back. Going into this episode, I thought to myself, “Who is the leader?” Sawyer? Jack? Locke? Widmore? Eloise? Alpert? Ben somehow?

Also, I await Juliet’s big reveal as a double agent.

The inexorable Incident inches incrementally closer.

Or does it?

Didn’t know the episode title ’till just now when I looked it up. I like the episode even more now!

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh yesssssssssssss
that RULED
60 minutes of massive ruling

No, ABC, for crying out loud I will not be watching the Unusuals.