Hutch Is Going To Die
He is very old and when he sneezes, pieces of his bone powder into dust because he is very delicate and very old. But we love him very much because we know each birthday might be his last.
Because he is very old.
Comments
So very old.
hahahahahhahahah damnit! I hate today.
So very very very old, older than the universe, older than time itself. So old he is able to travel the whole circle of time and see his life all over again.
Everybody standing near him in the supermarket today is going to silently screw their eyes closed in disgust when they hear him clicking his dentures around in his gummy mouth.
Then he’ll go to the heated pool at the YMCA and do that old people thing where he stands in the shallow end and slowly spreads his arms back and forth.
I got you some birthday gifts, John. IcyHot, Bengay, and a bag of Werthers candy.
Justin said:Then he’ll go to the heated pool at the YMCA and do that old people thing where he stands in the shallow end and slowly spreads his arms back and forth.
WHY DO THEY DO THIS?!
Phew… somebody get this octogenarian a fresh diaper.
Hey Hutch, can I have a butterscotch?
Then he will write in capital letters because he is shouting due to hearing loss. Or perhaps he is unaware the caps lock key is on.
Then he will drive down a highway for over 100 miles at a stretch with his left turn signal flashing away.
Very old.
Hey Hutch, go fuck yourself!
He’s going to start complaining that the prices at Ihop aren’t cheap enough – post senior citizen discount.
How’s that social security check holding you over?
Also, mall walks, large, white tennis shoes, excessive use of coupons at CVS, and so forth.
Jay said:Hey Hutch, go fuck yourself!
Jay said:Hey Hutch, go fuck yourself!
If every birthday greeting were like this instead of demands that my day be somehow better than other days, I would like birthdays way more.
Balls on you, you negative prick! I demand of you to have a swell day. Take pride in having lived yet another year. Not everyone gets to.
John Cobain said:I’m a negative prick / I’m a negative prick / I’m a negative prick / and I’m stooooooned.
Good, then that means you ARE having a nice birthday.