Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
This is a review of the above mentioned movie which takes the form of an open letter to Michael Bay. Warning: May contain spoilers.
Dear Mr. Bay,
Fuck You.
Sincerely,
Jeff McCoog
Comments
I guess Jeff had another childhood moment shattered in the span of 2 and a half hours. Didn’t I tell you not to see this movie or the first one because I told you you would hate everything about it?
So please Jeff, in order to keep one last vessel of your childhood happy, please please PLEASE do not see G.I. Joe. I guarantee you will be upset.
Michael Bay cannot hear you over the sound of CG wind blowing through his gorgeous hair.
Justin said:Michael Bay cannot hear you over the sound of CG wind blowing through his gorgeous hair.
While an American flag gently waves in the background.
Matthew said:Justin said:Michael Bay cannot hear you over the sound of CG wind blowing through his gorgeous hair.
While an American flag gently waves in the background.
And chldren are holding hands and singing “Hallelujha”
Wow, 21% on Rotten Tomatoes.
I have to ask, though, Jeff: why the hell did you go see it? What did you expect? And why would you go see it in the theater and give your money to support that moron? If you had to see it, why not just pirate it?
Thing is, as much as I absolutely loathed the first one and think I will completely HATE the second one, I could still see myself buying a ticket for this so I can quietly make fun of it in the back row with my friends on a hot Sunday afternoon.
It’s been well-established, however, that I routinely devote large swaths of my free time to watching and pulling apart things I already know to be atrocious.
The first one was terrible, but the audience around me was utterly FASCINATING. I can’t recount stories about my favorite details without sounding a like a monster, so I digress.
Because John, I have always and always will hate myself. I hate all the things I love, and I love nothing more than to see them mauled for the lowest common denominator. I am the quintessential sadist.
If only all the nerds of the world weren’t so sadistic, maybe they wouldn’t be gearing up for Transformers 3: Skullfucking Your Childhood. The movie is horrible, but it’s making money. I don’t understand.
Isn’t there someone on the Scrabbled who is a Michael Bay fan? I’m not sure why I remember that from very early on posting here reading someone talking about really liking his movies and thinking “Huh?”.
2 things that really annoy me about movies are Michael Bay, and blatant Oscar bait particularly by notoriously non-oscar people/places/things. So watching Pearl Harbor crash and burn and not only not get him within shouting distance of an Oscar but get totally ridiculed was a wonderful thing.
Fortunately, Transformers had very little influence on my childhood. I watched the show a couple times and then whined for some figures. I was too stupid to figure out how to make them transform properly and I began to cry. My mom took away the Transformers figures, called me an idiot, and never bought me any others. He can skullfuck it all he wants, it’ll glide right in and I won’t notice.
My friend Aldon, who hasn’t posted or commented here in forever, has sad “Pear Harbor was one of the greatest movies I’d ever seen”
No Eric Idle? No Orson Welles? No thanks.
hahaha, thats just… awesome. I saw it today, trust me it wasn’t my idea. Its funny, cause I saw “Crank High Voltage” last week, and I honestly think that was more INTELLIGENT then this poor representation of what used to be a great cartoon.