Ask TheScrabbled: Star Wars Edition
If you had to live on a Star Wars planet/moon which one would you choose and why? (A) Hoth (B) Tatooine ( C) Endor
Comments
Tatooine. There is always something going on on one of the five or so major cities on the planet. You just have to have eyes in the back of your head (or on the side) as you might get shot at at least 5 times a day. The adventure!
Tatooine. Without a doubt.
On Tatooine, I will remain uneaten. Let’s not forget that, unless you’re plated in shiny gold, those adorable little Ewoks will try to fucking eat you. Hoth, too, has ambulatory monsters that will munch on your flesh. Tatoonie? It’s got a big moist vagina in the ground that will eat you really slowly, but you’ve kinda got to wander into the desert and trip into it first.
Tatooine looks hot, but I bet it’s a dry heat. Hoth is cold. Tauntaun-killing cold. Endor looks comfortable, but that sort of climate might support some sort of space-malaria. And I’m not down with that shit.
As for stuff to do, Tatooine is the tits. There’s podracing. Markets. Bars. Say what you will about Jabba’s palace and sail barge, but he looks like he knows how to throw a goddamn party. Drinks, dancing slave ladies, monster fights, and kick-ass Harrison Ford decorations. What the fuck are you going to do on Hoth? Hang around a subterranean break room and wonder when the Empire is gonna blast everything to subatomic particles?
Oh, sure, the Ewoks dance and play drums… but Billy Dee Williams is there. He will steal your woman and punch you in the goddamn throat for complaining about it.
shit i wish i knew what you guys were talking about
I would choose Tatooine also, but you would have stay alert due to the many dangers. For example, you may walk into a seedy bar and have a guy tell you that his friend doesn’t like you. Then, even if you apologize, he may tell you that he doesn’t like you either. That kind of judgement can be hard to take, especially when you’re in a new place and you don’t really know anybody.
Justin, see, I immediately went Endor cause I figured living in either Hoth or Tatooine would way too harsh. I mean, Tatooine needs moisture farms just to get enough water to drink.
But you make a very good point about actually having things to do. Will the lifelong camping trip that is Endor get boring? Would I need the rough-n-tumble nightlife of Tatooine to keep myself sane? I dunno. You forget about the Sand People factor. While they won’t eat you, they’ll still kidnap you and fuck you up real good.
I dunno, I think I’d still go with Endor. If we’re talking a Post Return of the Jedi galaxy here, the Ewoks would be pretty friendly. I could totally party with them, even if my ability to reproduce the sounds of space battle is nominal at best. I’m pretty sure I’d just get my ass killed on Tatooine.
And really… who the fuck would pick Hoth?
K-Mart said:For example, you may walk into a seedy bar and have a guy tell you that his friend doesn’t like you. Then, even if you apologize, he may tell you that he doesn’t like you either. That kind of judgement can be hard to take.
BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! I totally just choked on my tea.
No one would pick Hoth. The Rebels didn’t even pick it until they were strapped for ideas.
But, really, Sand People don’t bug me. If all you need to do to scare them off is whoop like a monster, I don’t think I’ll have a problem. Plus, moisture farming ain’t so bad… cheap robots and blue milk.
The Ewoks weren’t dancing because they understood the implications of revolution against a dehumanizing, industrialized interplanetary threat… they were dancing because they fucking murdered everything that trespassed on their land. They will dance upon your eviscerated corpse and play bongos on your cracked, dried skull.
Endor. Just wear a flava-flav clock or gold chains or something. They’ll think you’re a god.
Benefits: tree-houses, camping, dancing, speeder bike races
Hazards: Stuff from wikipedia that nobody here would even know or care about unless their level of nerdiness forced them to expand further into the star wars universe than the movies depicted
I know, Bill. I know and I care. SW4Lyf
John, you should start SWarsipedia.
I’ll say it again:
Treehouses. Camping. Dancing. Bike races.
It either sounds like John’s childhood or what he wishes his childhood was.
I like the fact that a key factor for all of you seems to be the availability of partying. This implies that people that like Star Wars know how to have a good time.
I love Star Wars and I’m proooobably the most fun person you’ve ever met.
I enjoyed reading this timeline about how, 10 years ago this month, everybody was stupid.
what is a star war? are they fighting over a single star? I’d say give it to them, its just one star.
Just put me on Endor with a fricking big gun and a flask of good hooch.
I wonder what Ewoks taste like barbecued??
L`Kevin said:what is a star war? are they fighting over a single star? I’d say give it to them, its just one star.
I’m not sure entirely why, but this killed me.