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this reminds me of my grandfather and my dad. he was also my dad’s last living immediate relative and i cannot imagine how he felt when he died. i was heartbroken for him.
this pretty much made me relive all of that.
I don’t think I could ever put something so personal for all the world to see. It’s bizarre.
John you cry to much.
Or maybe you cry to little…!
I wanted to type something about this, and how it makes me feel when I think about my dad, but I didn’t have the words. Just let it be know, Hutch, that I did enjoy it.
I just had a long post written out about this that I just deleted because I didn’t want to offend anyone, even though I would be clear that I was talking about my feelings on a subject and not judging anyone else.
Sissy.
Well, it’s a pretty touchy subject, and one that having been adult and aware enough to witness all 4 of my grandparents during their final years, that I have strong opinions on.
I’ve only lost one grandparent so far. He was in Florida and I was very much apart from the whole process. Things like this fill me with dread.
My one grandfather passed away at 73. He had all his mental faculties, and up until the time he went lived how he wanted, ate what he wanted, etc. Never suffered, never lingered, never had to have anyone take care of him. The other 3 passed away just shy of 90, all slowly devolved both physically and mentally and spent their last years being cared for and having to have their children spend years caring for them as they did their children. Seeing it all, I adamantly don’t want that. If that means I only live to be 70 something rather than 80 something, I’m o.k. with that.
I’m also adamant that if my mental faculties go and I don’t recognize or remember people, that my kids know to put me in a place that will care for me and to never visit me (or do so only sporadically). If I don’t remember or know them then I’m not going to realize they’re not there, and I’d rather spare them the suffering of having to go through that and see me like that.
I’ll visit you to make fun of you. Should be any day now, right?
If my head ever goes, I hope my kids just let me be a bum on the street or something. Or ship me off to a Calcutta ghetto. It’s cheaper, it’ll speed up the whole dying process, and I’ll get some bizarre and confusing culture before I go.
Alix said:John you cry to much.
John said:Or maybe you cry to little…!
*too
Your mom.
Is this the same photographer who posted pictures of his father’s bedsores? Does anyone know what I am talking about? There was something I saw recently that was a photo study of someone’s father or grandfather up to and including his death.
I can’t imagine how devastating it is to take care of an alzheimers or dementia inflicted parent. It’s not even your mom or your dad anymore, from what I have seen/read (I don’t know firsthand.)
I keep wussing out on the ‘living will’ conversation with my parents. I think that they wouldn’t want to be kept alive by machines, but it’s not fair to make that assumption.