My Conversation with Fake Dan
Sometime last week my friends gmail, itunes and facebook accounts were “hacked”. After purchasing the entire series of “Prison Break” in iTunes, this person began contacting people, as my friend, claiming to have been mugged in London and needing $700 to pay for his hotel and cab fair to the airport. The sad news is that someone actually sent $700, the good news is I figured out it was a scam and had a fun conversation with “fake dan”
12:56pmDan
Hey
12:59pmMatthew
yo!
what’s going on?
1:00pmDan
Not too good
Not too good
I’m in some kind of deep mess right now and i really don’t know how to tell you about these
1:03pmMatthew
Is everything ok?
1:04pmDan
I’m stranded in London.I was mugged at gun point last night
All cash on me and my bank card was stolen including my cell phone
1:07pmMatthew
you yanking my chain?
1:08pmDan
huh
1:11pmMatthew
That’s insane! What are you doing in London? call and shut down all your bank cards, credit cards, etc from a hotel
1:13pmDan
I have done all that
I just need some help
1:13pmMatthew
what do you need
1:14pmDan
I have a plane back home in 3hours time but need some cash for the hotel bills
1:15pmDan
So i was wondering if you can loan me some $$ for now
1:15pmMatthew
how much are we talking about
1:17pmDan
$650 for the hotel and maybe you can add $50 for a cab to the airport
1:20pmDan
???
Are you there?
1:20pmMatthew
well, i mean, it
1:21pmDan
Can you get me that much cash for now?
1:21pmMatthew
it’s tough to justify giving $700 to someone who stole my wife
you ruined my life
1:23pmDan
Please man forget about that now and just help me out of this mess..I will def have the money refund back to you and maybe we have a drink and talk about this if you don’t mind
1:24pmMatthew
Forget about it! FORGET ABOUT IT! She’s dead because of you!
a drink is not going to bring her back
you son of a bitch
1:26pmDan
I’m so so sorry about this and if i had chance to turn back the hands of time i would man
it a small world that i have to need your help at last after all what happened between us
PLEASE AM REALLY SORRY
1:29pmMatthew
hmmm…I’ll never forget that time we found a treasure map in my parents attic and went searching for one eyed willie’s treasure
or when you broke your arm and after it healed you could throw a nearly 100MPH fastball
those were some good times
…maybe we can let bygones be bygones
1:31pmDan
Yeah i know
1:31pmMatthew
I always loved when you told that story about us summer camp…
1:32pmDan
But i really don’t have much time left for flight..I will be very glad if you can let bygones be bygones
1:33pmDan
Please when i get home tomorrow we will have a drink and talk more
but i just need some urgent help about the money for now
1:33pmMatthew
who’s going to pick you up from the air port? I would like to take you out for a beer. what’s your flight number
1:35pmDan
I will call you at the airport when i have the money
Are you going to help me with the money now?
1:36pmMatthew
you remember that time we walked clear across the county to find that dead kids body? And we had that run in with the Cobra’s?
1:37pmDan
wft is all these
are you helping me or not?
1:39pmMatthew
…I remember when you cherished these memories, you’ve changed man
1:40pmDan
I’m really freak out for now and i need your urgent help we can talk about all that when i get home tomorrow
1:41pmDan
Just let me know if you can help me with the money
1:43pmMatthew
…sorry…it’s, just I missed your friendship so much
1:44pmDan
Ok
1:44pmMatthew
i love you man
1:44pmDan
Can you help me with the money for now?
1:46pmDan
Then prove it by sending me the money
1:46pmMatthew
jeez…i haven’t said that since…well…that time we stormed that castle to save the man in black and avenge the death of my father
that six fingered bastard! he killed my father and gave me scars on each side of my face
1:47pmDan
fuck all these for now
1:47pmMatthew
…you don’t love me?
1:47pmDan
if you don’t want to help me then fine
1:48pmMatthew
i can’t believe you won’t even say it
you selfish prick
1:48pmDan
I love you too
1:49pmMatthew
really? You mean it?
1:50pmMatthew
before I send you the money I need you to do something for me, will you do something for me Dan.
1:52pmDan
You are making all this worse for me
1:53pmMatthew
If you really loved me, you would do this one favor for me
1:54pmDan
what?
1:55pmMatthew
You’ll do the favor?!
1:55pmDan
huh?
1:55pmMatthew
what?
1:56pmDan
you ask me about doing some thing for you before you send me the money
what that?
1:56pmMatthew
Well, if you really loved me you wouldn’t have hacked into my friends accounts and tried to con money out of his friends
you douchebag
You don’t have permission to chat with this person.
i mean come on man
Comments
“I’m in some kind of deep mess right now and i really don’t know how to tell you about these”
“wft is all these”
“fuck all these for now”
So, this guy is smart enough to hack someone’s internet accounts and scam his friends out of hundreds of dollars, but not smart enough to craft an intelligible sentence? Was he foreign?
AWESOME. Nice work. Maybe next time throw in, “remember Billy? I promised I would never tell anyone where you dumped his body. I told my wife, but she’s gone now. Your secret is still safe with me.” Ha.
There was an episode of This American Life about people scamming these types of scammers. They got the scammer to travel to a dangerous part of the world, wait there for a month, then told him his mother died when he had no way of getting home and never got him the money (nor intended to). It was a really interesting podcast.
Bahahahaahhaahah! That was so good. You got him to say he loves you. And Rooke of the Year!
John said:You got him to say he loves you.
That’s my favorite part, it’s so ridiculous!
someone just tried to pull the exact same scam on me through facebook chat, from a girl I havent spoken to since high school. Word for word.
I’m at work so my convo was more brief, but that was fun.