A velociraptor is coming at you on a hoverboard. In a haiku, describe how you will survive.
The answers in haiku. You can do better, The Scrabbled.
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Get near some water
Just like Marty McFly learned
Raptor will be stuck.
Flying dragon kick
shows that reptile how it’s done
Norris style, baby
Instantly shit pants
Oh God Oh God Oh Jesus
You find religion
Velociraptor,
Floats like a butterfly but
still dies when shot at.
Ye Gods! Dinosaur!
Throw him through the courthouse front
window to stop him!
Surely even a
mattel brand hoverboard must
have a weight limit.
Jetpack flies away
like George Michael from the
Tobias Mole Man.
Doctor Ian Malcolm
said it best when he opined
quote: “Must go faster.”
Jeff Goldbloom watches
you poop. Hoverboard or not,
you are still dinner.
Velociraptor.
More like a six-foot turkey.
Could he eat that kid?
How in the fuck did
a velociraptor learn
how to ride that thing?
let’s just hide in here
we should be totally safe
they can’t use doors, right?
keep running, dammit
that lysine deficiency
should kick in real soon
A Unix system!
I know this! We’ll be okay!
Don’t kernel panic.
I am officially not funny or clever enough to post in this thread. You all win.
you dodged my wicked
oversized toenail clipper
what a clever girl
your hoverboard is
no match for my Pogo-Ball
in our war of fads
yell loudly at him
the raptor is not impressed
haikus won’t save you
I have a great plan.
I will go out all alone.
Hold on to your butts.
Raptors! Bah, who is
afraid of them? Now, Compy’s,
that’s a scary thing.
-John Hammond, Jurassic Park the Novel
If a raptor got
up to 88 miles per
hour; holy shit, dude.
A flying dino
How can this monster hover?
A wizard did it.
Fred Savage stole his
little brother from a nut
house. CALIFORNIA!
I know it does not
fit. I said wizard before
and thought nintendo.
i giggled so hard i cried.
Placate him with this
Bill reaches into pocket
Yes, a dead hamster.
oh dinosaur, no
i am not a yummy snack!
here, eat these skittles
little does it know
i drive a truck of manure
poop rescues us all
Creationism!
That fucker doesn’t exist
My hoverboard now
Hey, get on the floor
jump down off your hoverboard
walk that dinosaur
Late for work again
might I hitch a hover ride?
Quick! To Faneuil Hall!
pffft, one raptor? don’t
they need at least three to be
effective hunters?
raptors are clever
first they mastered the door knob
now the hoverboard
A LOT OF DINOSAURS
WERE STUPID LOOKING
HOVERBOARDS DON’T HELP, YO
These are such awesome
creatures, and they de…AH GOD
THEY ARE EATING ME!!
Heidi said:Hey, get on the floor
jump down off your hoverboard
walk that dinosaur
i LOL’ed.
i like ruining
things ESPECIALLY
YOUR LIFE, YOU STUPID RAPTOR
ANACHRONISM!
twenty-second century!
is your name Denver?
stupid lizard punk
I brought my pal Dolph Lundgren
and he will break you
You are my new pet!
I shall name you Darwin Two
Try not to poop. Ever.
Fatty! You’re dragging.
Isn’t there a weight limit?
I’ll kill you with words.
Did my iguana
evolve from you? He doesn’t
want to consume me.
He cannot stand on
his hind legs and so hover
boarding is right out.
i run to LA
raptor loses altitude
in la brea. WIN!
We’re looking down on Wayne’s basement
Only that’s not Wayne’s basement
Isn’t that weird?
K-Mart said:I’M OUTWe’re looking down on Wayne’s basement
Only that’s not Wayne’s basement
Isn’t that weird?
If raptor flies fast
I just laugh, evolution
has killed you before.
No hoverboard can
save this velociraptor
once a cold front comes.