PS My votes are: ninjas + drunk, British brothers (even though the other gallaghers have weapons)

On the first one, clearly Ninja’s would win (assuming the zombies were of the slower, Romero paced variety).

On the second, I don’t know who Ron and Leo Gallagher are but they would end up beating the other 2 because Liam and Noel would end up fighting one another instead. I don’t particularly care for Oasis, but those 2 fucking lunkheads are infinitely amusing and entertaining.

Deadites vs. The Dirty Dozen

Definitely Ninjas, if we were fighting slow zombies. But what if a bitten Ninja retained his amazing stealth abilities as an undeader? A single lucky chomp could turn the tide towards zombie. But Ninjas are careful. Patient. Ninjas win.

The fruit-smashing Gallaghers wouldn’t actually fight. They’d whine and litigate and complain and continue recycling their original material while slowly, inexorably declining into well deserved obscurity. Like in real life. A draw!

And if the Oasis brothers battled to the death, it wouldn’t matter who wins. The fight would last five weeks and end up destroying over 78% of the planet’s habitable landmass. The survivors would envy the dead.

Justin, I think it’s one set of Gallagher brothers vs. the other, in which case, you definitely have to go with the drunken destructive force you describe in your final paragraph.

Also, I appreciate the thought you gave to ninjas vs. zombies battle, and while the one-lucky-bite scenario does put an interesting twist on things, c’mon. We all know the answer is zombies for the one major property of ninjas that everyone’s forgetting: Solo ninja? Unstoppably deadly force. Many ninjas? Fodder for Leonardo and crew/bad dudes/James Bond/assorted good guys throughout good guy history. Zombies lose because the power of a ninja is inversely proportional to the quantity of ninjas, whereas zombies are the exact opposite. So:

Zombie vs. Ninja: Obvious ninja win. But Zombie_s_ vs. Ninja_s_? Ninjas start tripping and missing and being considerably less than invisible and getting eaten.

Your reasoning is brilliant and I cannot argue against it.

Ninjas are hive-minded organisms and the presence of multi-ninja instantly diffuses the intelligence across the group. They can only circle the opponent and stand there helplessly as they step forward to attack one at a time.

That only happens if it’s the Bruce Lee zombie.