What would you do if you ended up in the year 1000?
From boing boing:
The Marginal Revolution blog poses the musical question, “If you were transported back to the middle ages, what would be the top strategy for thriving?” Given that most of us can’t make gunpowder from scratch (and don’t have up-to-date smallpox vaccinations), dreams of becoming a technological pre-Enlightenment billionaire guru are probably not realistic (stipulating that “realistic” is probably not a good word to use in respect of responses to hypothetical time-travel questions).
Some really great responses at MR, too.
Comments
Assuming I don’t immediately get myself killed for being a witch or demon of some sort with my bizarre clothes and strange way of speaking, I would try to apprentice under a butcher or blacksmith. Of course, lack of sanitation and decent working conditions might make both of those jobs quite hazardous.
I suppose churches were where most of the learning was going on at the time. Perhaps I’d try to find a monestary where basic maths were being researched and I would do what I could to help progress the human race, even if it meant having to pretend to be devout.
I would become a blacksmith apprentice and after a few years of sword training, I would forge the mightiest weapon man had ever set eyes on (maybe experiment with get something light-yet-strong).
I would then get on my steed and explore Europe until I found some mathematicians.
hahahahhahahaha, holy fuck, Paris. We are the same goddam person.
Hahahahahaha, hot damn, let’s build a time machine!
I would use the old science textbooks in the back of my Oldsmobile to forge gunpowder and a really kick-ass metal gauntlet. After winning over the peasants, I’d lead them in a pitched battle against Evil-Justin’s army of deadites.
Justin said:I would use the old science textbooks in the back of my Oldsmobile to forge gunpowder and a really kick-ass metal gauntlet. After winning over the peasants, I’d lead them in a pitched battle against Evil-Justin’s army of deadites.
Ha! No response will beat this one!
Yeah, I think taking over the world isn’t out of the question.
You’d have to get the Pope in your hands first. I love the one response on the site about establishing a fractional banking system and slowly buildling a fortune, lending to kings, starting wars, owning the Pope.
I would use my mechanical engineering education to build all kinds of cool shit for society. You know, because all of the abstract mathematics and theoretical “ideal” machine component problems I learned how to solve did a great job of preparing me to actually make useful things. Oh yeah, this is all assuming that I’d have a computer with ProE available.
Was the point of this post to even further cement my regret for my chosen career path? You’re a real dick Hutch.
Jay said:You know, because all of the abstract mathematics and theoretical “ideal� machine component problems I learned how to solve did a great job of preparing me to actually make useful things.
That reminds me of perpetual motion machines for some reason. You think a true one can exist in space maybe? I recall “equal and opposite reaction” and figure it HAS to be possible.
There’s still friction in space on the molecular level. Even a single grain of space dust is enough to cause a slowdown on a long enough time line. A perptual motion machine that does not replenish energy somehow can only exist in a controlled theoretical space.
I think I’d be…barefoot and pregnant. Not really much choice in the matter, amiright?
John said:There’s still friction in space on the molecular level. Even a single grain of space dust is enough to cause a slowdown on a long enough time line. A perptual motion machine that does not replenish energy somehow can only exist in a controlled theoretical space.
This may be in the running as the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said.
So the key is to utilize this space dust.
Paris said:So the key is to utilize this space dust.
No, the key is to remove space dust down to the quark. There’s plenty of free energy to utilize floating around in space in the form of light protons.
And I’m sure I’ve said far more nerdy things, Rach. Things involving Star Trek. Like how Episode 124: The Inner Light makes me cry every time Picard asks to be alone and plays his flute in the last scene.
Paris said:That reminds me of perpetual motion machines for some reason. You think a true one can exist in space maybe? I recall “equal and opposite reaction� and figure it HAS to be possible.
I like how my deep, heartfelt lamentations somehow remind you of perpetual motion machines. Are you trying to imply that we are all stuck in a perpetual cycle of frustration and sorrow and that nothing can ever change it? You are one melodramatic motherfucker.
Well it was that particular line that I quoted. But sure!
I know how you feel about the career thing. I’m starting the process into the education field this September. That way, I can live that “wild life” you spoke of at least 1/4 of the year.
To bring us back to the original topic, the best part about going back to year 1000 would be living the Wild Life.
i like how the immediate things that could happen are “be worshipped because you’re all weird” or “be slaughtered because you’re all weird.”
supposing i can fudge my way into not getting ARROWED! or SWORDED!, i could pretty easily throw myself into, y’know, the stupid female crap. i can weave, sew, embroider, etc. subversive stitching would never know what hit it.
(this is also supposing i can shoehorn myself into a social class where this is available, and i’m not stuck making soup and constantly averting my eyes and pretending i don’t exist in some earl’s house.)
Is apprenticing the village witch an option? I’m thinking that, or maybe chopping my hair off and trying to disguise myself as a large-breasted man so I could learn how to sword fight. Ooh! Or I could work at an old school printing press, I think I could swing that.
the first printing press wasn’t invented until the 1400s. up til then pretty much the only book that ever got copied was the bible, and it was all monks in basements.