The Scrabbled: Making Fun of Each Other since '99

They day is broken into two main parts:

San Gimignano

Started off heading to San Gimignano on several recommendations from various people. Like Siena, it’s sort of a city frozen in time. Considerably less touristy and super-medieval. We got there and there was a market going on taking up the bulk of the two adjacent city squares where I was able to find some nice pants for the dinner we were having later that night since I stained up my khakis while grilling a few nights earlier. Then it started drizzling. Then pouring.

And so we huddled under a bridge for a few hours and watched the rain. Which is cooler than it sounds, really, considering how ancient everything was that surrounded us. After the rain let up, we checked out the main church, the ornithology museum (lots of dead stuffed birds!), and tried to find a way up to the bell tower, which we couldn’t find, and left a bit early to get ready for dinner. Which was a very good idea cause we lost the car.

You see, San Gimignano, like many of these little medieval towns, only allows residents to park inside the town. So everyone else has to park outside the city walls and walk in. Well, we forgot the way back, sorta. And the streets are quite windy and, like every other italian city, it was built on several hills. So we quite nearly died of exhaustion walking up and down streets so steep they put little bumps in the sidewalk every step or so as a foothold. I want to draw a map of the route we took to find the car, because only seeing it could explain how ridiculous and exhausting it ended up being. We ended up finding the car and having to skip our planned trip to Pam (PAAAAMMM!!) to get some supplies for breakfast.

The Wine Tour and Dinner

We made reservations through Claudia and the villa folks to take a tour of a one of the local major wine makers, Isole e Olena (apparently you can get it in NJ and NY at Moore’s Bros. Wine Sellers) and then have dinner at a nearby michelin-starred restaurant. We didn’t quite understand the details or the extent of it, just that it sounded very cool and why not.

So we get there and at first a woman greets us and assumes we’re just there for a tasting and starts pouring us samples from various bottles and making conversation. Halfway through, someone alerts her that we’re supposed to be part of the tour, so we go join three other people and wait for the tour to start. Now, a bit about these folks: There’s three of them: a mother, her son, and his wife/girlfriend. They’re french, from Paris. They’re reek of wealth and privilege. They speak very good english. And they’re very, very nice and know a shit ton about wine. But more about them later.

So a man comes up and greets us. Turns out he’s the owner and chief wine maker at Isole e Olena. Which, I didn’t realize then, is kind of a big deal. And we head down into the press room and the stills and the barrell room and get a very cool tour of the whole place. Even cooler is the history lesson we get about Italy’s economic turbulence during the late 60’s and how the Chianti region came to be what it is and just a wealth of amazing information about wine and Italy.

And Then Dinner

We arrive at the restaurant, Albergaccio di Castellina, to see a table set for 11. There are five of us (me, Gos, and the three Parisians) and we’re told to expect the Isole e Olena owner/tour guide. So while at first we just figured they set the table expecting more, we later find out that every chair is going to be full. The cast:

1. The Isole e Olena owner/tour guide
2. His wife
3. The Parisian mother
4. Her husband
5. Her youngest son, whom we hadn’t met at this point and who looked remarkably like the actor who played Cedric in Harry Potter. Also, he didn’t utter a single word the entire dinner.
6. Her older son
7. His wife/girlfriend
8. Me
9. Gos
10. Another local wine makier
11. His wife

I really wish I had gotten some more pictures because it really has to be seen to be believed. But I did get this shot of the Parisian husband:

I didn’t find out how he made all his money (and it seems he made a lot of it), but I’m certain it in some way involves fox or elephant hunting, flubbergustery, starting all his sentences with “WELL I DO SAY!” or something equally fitting his mustache. So suffice to say, this was the single most intimidating dinner of our lives.

We were completely out classed in every sense. Everyone was bilingual, swapping between italian, french, and english. Famous $20,000 wine bottles were being name dropped like they were common knowledge. Wine was flowing like water and my glass never got even close to empty. The elder son apparently started several wine clubs “at university” (I’m guessing either Oxford or Cambridge) that counted the deans in their membership. These people have been all over the world several times over. Our host, the Isole e Olena wine maker, had even been to Cherry Hill, NJ (“Ah, you know Lamberti’s restaurant?”). It was crazy. Gosia and I were simultaneously terrified and absolutely delighted the entire time.

I’m trying to remember everything I can cause it was just such an unusual and amazing experience, but one particular thing I can recall is when we were talking about Sicily and the elder Parisian son mentions how great Sicilian food is cause it incorporates african spices and flavors. It’s important to note, here, that the other wine maker sitting next to me is Sicilian. Because if you’ve seen True Romance, you might have a general idea of where this conversation went. There were no broken noses or “eggplant,” but Sicilian wine maker guy got very loud when he said that Sicilian cuisine is in no way African; that Marco Polo brought all the spices over and that there is no comparing. The conversation maybe only spanned five minutes, total, but it felt like an hour and I was both disappointed and relieved to see that the Parisian elder son “got it” and dropped the point.

I did my best to keep up, as it were, even making a toast at one point to “food, wine, and the people that make them” (I know it’s corny, but whatever, it went over quite well) and everything was outstanding.

Hopefully Gosia can log on in a bit and add her take on the whole thing. I’m going to go take a walk.