Child Abuse or Good Parenting?
A mother’s explanation of why she lets her 9-year old ride the subway alone. I’m leaning towards Good Parenting, but I haven’t thought it out much and I’m curious to see what you all think.
Comments
I don’t know, while I wouldn’t ever categorize it as child abuse I also wouldn’t put it in the “good parenting” category. While excessive paranoia and overprotectiveness is definitely part of the modern parenting age, and I definitely lean towards fighting those urges when you can I think that 9 years old may be just a year or two too young for something like that and also just doing it gratuitously because your kid wants to and you think it’s a good lesson seems silly. I think if it was an 11 or 12 year old kid than it’s a no brainer, particularly if there’s a reason to do it (coming home from school, going to a friends house, whatever). But just doing it because your kid wants to and to prove a point just seems like one of those needlessly contrarian actions. Particularly if this person felt compelled to write and talk about it at length. If they absolutely and legitimately felt like there was not one single thing wrong with doing this, then it would have likely never come up in discussions or conversations with people. The fact that she told so many people and continues to discuss it seems like it was more for her to prove a point than something that would actually need to be done and I tend to think using your kids as sociological experiments is idiotic in general.
Everything Kevin said. This article reeks of smugness and arrogance – possibly just in response to the outcry. It’s not helping her case, though. She sounds like one of those twits that covers for a bad idea by never shutting up about how right she was.
It’s strange that she didn’t provide the kid with a cell phone because she worried her son would lose it… who she trusted to not get lost, all by himself, in the city.
Is it right or wrong? Can’t say without context. My parents grew up in Brooklyn and Queens and were riding the buses and subways by themselves into Manhattan by the age of 9. They allowed me to wander around the city by myself when I was 13, knowing that I was a very cautious and responsible kid. My sister, who was more reckless and forgetful, was forbidden to do so until she was older than that. I guess it depends on how you raised the kid up until that point.
That’s the thing. There are probably hundreds if not thousands of kids in cities who do this every day to get to and from school because their parents need to work or aren’t around or whatever reason of absolute necessity and survival. So for this woman for no reason other than because her kid wanted to and she wanted to prove a point does it and then wants some kind of credit for it. I’ve really grown to despise parents who use their kids to simply prove a point to people that annoy them. Whether it’s that atheist suing to have his kid not have to say under god in the pledge of allegiance or fundamentalists who want everyone to know how their home school kids are just as smart or people who purposely don’t let their kids watch tv or play with certain toys or whatever. Just do what you want and shut the fuck up about it. Your kid coming out normal and unscathed and well adjusted should be all the proof anyone needs if what you’re doing as a parent is actually a success.
Kevin said:I’ve really grown to despise parents who use their kids to simply prove a point to people that annoy them.
I can’t wait to use my kids to prove points to you.
See, I was always the guy who expected that I would do that. But then once you’re actually responsible for this little person that all goes out the window unless you’re a supreme asshole (time will tell…..time will tell). And having had a normal kid with no issues first and being one way, and then having a kid who could literally die if you aren’t overprotective and paranoid kind of puts a different spin on things.
Also, keep in mind that by that point John my kids will both be old enough to corrupt and torment your children in ways you can’t even imagine.
Yeah, if the kid’s as responsible as she says then he’s probably quietly listening to her drone on and on and on about this every night and feeling very embarrassed by his parents.
did anybody ever watch that show Kid Nation? that had a pretty decent spectrum of how responsible or bratty kids could be. they also cry a lot. all of them.
i didnt read whatever was posted, but i assume some lady lets her child ride the train in some city unsupervised.
good parenting and child abuse dont really need to be in the title there, id just call it stupidity.
her main job as a parent is to nuture, educate, and keep out of harms way, and it sounds like shes really failing in that last category.
Half the people I work with are New Yorkers, and they couldn’t understand why the lady was on TV. Looks like a publicity slut if anything, so what if her kid rides the subway alone. I rode my bike everywhere when I was 9, I’m sure thats a lot more dangerous.
Didn’t read the article, so I’m probably missing some nuance of how stupid the mother is, but…
What’s the big deal? In New Orleans, we rode the city bus (and streetcar) to school starting in the 5th grade. Made transfers and everything. School system didn’t have enough money for school buses, so we just got bus tickets instead.
Tonight on “When Internet Trolls Have Children”…