If Earth was...
Earth, its creator, its content, and everything around it, just SUCKS. All I ever hear about is all the shitty stuff that happens on earth…
If Earth was an NBA GM/coach, it would be Isiah Thomas. If Earth was a computer, it would be a MAC. If Earth was clothing, it would be a trucker hat. If Earth was food, it would be brussel sprouts. If Earth was attempting to avoid sting rays to the heart, it would be Steve Irwin. If Earth was a character on a keyboard, it would be |. If Earth was a US state, it would be Rhode Island.
Anyone have any more?
Comments
If earth was a shitty metaphor, getthefuckouttahere.
For the record, I’m only angry because I took offense to the Mac bit. I mean… it just doesn’t make sense. Macs and I are totally superior.
And like… really… what’s the deal with Earth sucking? It’s absolutely without a doubt the coolest goddamn thing in our galaxy. Read a book! We’re totally unique!
I knew that would be the most controversial!
Oh, and we all know we would be way cooler if we were from Mars.
You’re crazy. Extremophiles are just one example of why Earth is much more amazing than this post.
I totally do not understand this post. Earth is fucking amazing. Its creator probably doesn’t exist. Its content is the reason to keep living. If all you hear about is shitty stuff happening, you should turn off FoxNews and go outside. It’s beautiful out there.
Furthermore, macs are infinitely better machines, brussels sprouts are underrated, the Irwin the was total nonsense, pipe (“|”) is immensely useful to people programmers and people not on Windows, and Rhode Island is has a varied and interesting history.
Earth is good. But Earth also sucks for a lot of reasons. Just trust me.
My job here is done though. I got someone to defend “|”.
Sreiously (spell-check, Hutch!), Brussel sprouts taste like egg rolls, without all the fried-ness and MSG, and no one in Rhode Island likes you, and Connecticut says your butt smells.
yeah, go watch planet earth. if something about earth sucked, id say it was the human race.
also, id like to mention there was a recent study done that concluded that owners of mac computers are more likely to be elitist jerks then owners of pcs or no computer at all.
…. this isnt a dig at anyone here. its seriously a study i heard about…. you elitist jerks.
Anthony really is the Leeroy Jenkins of theScrabbled.
Earth created humans. Humans created religion. Therefore, Earth sucks.
I use pipe almost every day. On a command line, you use it to pipe one command into another. E.g., if I want to see what line I called bannedthony an idiot, I’d type:
history | grep bannedthony | grep idiot
(grep searches output for a keyword).
Of course, this can’t be done on windows machines. Sorry. They’re awful.
Also, double pipe is the “or” operator in most programming languages.
if (user.status == "banned") || (user.description == “thonty”)
render (:text => “The user is bannedthony!”)
end
Sammy said:Sreiously (spell-check, Hutch!), Brussel sprouts taste like egg rolls, without all the fried-ness and MSG, and no one in Rhode Island likes you, and Connecticut says your butt smells.
YOU seriously spellcheck. They’re brussels sprouts.
I hate you so much
I hate you more. Unbannthony me.
capital B.
No, you’re banned.
Stook.
If Earth were a tool, it’d be you.
That was bad, Sammy. Like… Bannedthony Bad.
Now that’s just rude.
HOW RUDE.
ohhhhhhh i should be working right now.
maybe I’ll go play warcraft…
And please read up on Was vs. Were.
To express a hypothesis
The past subjunctive is used after the conjunction if in a contrary-to-fact protasis. For example:
- If I were a millionaire, I would buy a sports car.
- If he had a car with him, he could drive us there.
- If I were a rich man…
In the same vein, the past subjunctive is used following the conjunctions as if and as though to express a contrary-to-fact situation that reality is supposed to resemble:
- She looked as though she were going to kill him, but after glaring for a bit, she just stormed off.
- He tried to explain it — as if he knew anything about the subject!
Note that the past subjunctive is sometimes used in expressing situations that are not necessarily contrary to fact:
- I’m torn; if I were to go with choice A, I’d be better off in the short term, but if I were to go with choice B, I might be better off in the long term.
- Bring an umbrella; looks as if it were going to rain soon.
Sammy used textile! how pretty!
Grandmer police LOOK OUT!
brussels sprouts are awesome, jerk
yeah sammy! i came here to watch people be mean to eachother over trivial matters, not learn stuff.
i think i hate brussel sprouts, but i know i like egg rolls…. so…. do i like brussel sprouts?
…I’m not seeing a connection.
Also, how the hell did this become a 31 comment thread? Way to go, Bannedthony!
This thread > I’m fucking Ben Affleck thread
Therefore, I’m fucking Ben Affleck.
Sammy said:Sreiously (spell-check, Hutch!), Brussel sprouts taste like egg rolls, without all the fried-ness and MSG
Well I think they do.
If Earth were a bunch of nerds who can turn a humorous post about comparisons into a fucking grammar lesson, it’d be the people on The Scrabbled who are not me or Bannedthony, and are especially Sammy.
whoa evan, why lump me in with the grammar police?
hell, if anything im the number one offender.
that and spelling.
hmmm, i probably shouldnt brag about that…
Derrick said:whoa evan, why lump me in with the grammar police?
hell, if anything im the number one offender.
that and spelling.
hmmm, i probably shouldnt brag about that…
You mean…
“whoa evan. Why lump Me inn with the grammer police! hell if anything im the number won affendur that. And spelling? hmmmmm i probably shouldnt brag aboot that. Wait, aboot? That’s not bad spelling, that’s just dumb. What am I, Canadien?
[/wow, i have out done myself this time]
… (and now I wait for the html police to correct whatever it is I just did that with the brackets)
john, ban anthony.
I can’t ban him any more than he already is. He’s as banned as it gets.
If Earth were a theScrabbled post, it’d be this one.
Paris said:If Earth were a theScrabbled post, it’d be this one.
Congrats, you not only have the 40th comment, but the winning post! Before I made this post, I emailed Matt K. and said “How long until someone posts “If Earth was a post, it would be this oneâ€??”.
If only you did it 39 posts earlier. I really do think the dumber the post, the more comments you will get. I wonder how far I can push it…
honestly though, what is so bad about earth anthony? or did you just post this so someone would say “if earth were a post, i’d be this one.”
christina said:honestly though, what is so bad about earth anthony? or did you just post this so someone would say “if earth were a post, i’d be this one.�
Well, I don’t REALLY think Earth sucks. I was pretty much bored, and looking at all the bullshit politics posts on thescrabbled, and I was sick of it.
So I figured I would shake things up a bit. I threw in a shot at MACs and a random shot at “|” and brussels sprouts. I would defend a trucker hat before god damn Brussels sprouts. I mean jeez. Those things are so nasty.
What are you, 8? You’re supposed to stop hating icky vegetables when you grow up. Brussels sprouts are great.
I don’t like the taste of most vegetables.
Please don’t misinterpret the above statement as a sign of me siding with Bannedthony.
I am 13, actually, not 8.
I pretty much like most of the veggies out there. Brussels just look nasty, smell nasty, and taste nasty. I have never met anyone that liked them.
No, Paris, I interpret the above statement as you being a little boy. See also: not wearing your seatbelt.
I bet Paris still plays with his Ninja Turtles.
a man who does not play ninja turtles is in fact a woman.
case closed!